SES NY this year was so awesome it was retarded. On a scale of no awesome moustache to one awesome moustache, I give it one super badass, awesome fucking moustache. Here are the highlights:

Spamalot

I’m not a spoiler-dick and I hate them, so I’m not going to tell which seat is the magic seat in Spamalot. Suffice it to say, I was sitting in it and then I had my ass right next to Hank Azaria, David Hyde Pierce, and the challis of Christ himself all in about ten minutes. That is super sweet.

Being on Broadway was so awesome that my leg was shaking like either a little girl, or like I was about to make an inappropriate joke about Muhammed Ali. I can’t tell which one is funnier.

Pimp My Site

I host a wicked fun panel called Pimp My Site at SES where a few of us SEO type people take a site and optimize the shit out of it. Then we get a bunch of freebies from everyone except Google. If you are familiar with my manner of shenanegins, then imagine my meter on about a 7 in a big purple pimp hat. As it turns out, I can still get laughs without using the ‘Fuck’ word. It’s a super fun and informative panel and this one was definitely our best.

We Pimped a confetti site called flutterfetti.com. If you go to their website, you’ll notice these people are ape-shit crazy for confetti, and after seeing it in action I have to say that I am too. To introduce the session, I lived my life-long dream of entering a room lead by a brass band in a maelstrom of confetti whipping all about for absolutely no reason. It was awesome and if I know anything about cleaning up the mess of a fucking lifetime, I can say for certain there will be confetti in the chandelier of the Hilton Lower Ballroom for years to come.

That’s two Dax marks on the Hilton on 53rd for everyone keeping score: perma-confetti in the ballroom and these enormous locks on all their frickin pianos. If you’re there and notice that every piano has a Club installed, that’s because of me.

The term 30-wizzle was coined during my pimp-zentation (presentation). Watch www.30wizzle.com for more details on 301 rewritting — because 301 rewrites are a fucking pain in the ass. And yes, the moustache is real.

Paul McKenna

I had the chance to meet diet guru Paul McKenna this week. He’s a decent guy when he’s not throwing toffee peanuts at your teeth from across the bar like a child and trying to spit a mouthful of beer at you through a straw only to get it pinched in his face and splattered all the hell over the place. I don’t get how it’s appropriate to step up from spitwads straight to mouthfuls of beer right before I go and see the Odd Couple with Ferris Bueller and Nathan Lane. What’s next? A punch straight in the face? Sure, why not.

Roundup

I’ll have more updates this week as pictures stream in, but I give the experience 5 out of 5 awesome moustaches. the only way it could have been better was if Letterman had accidentally stepped on my foot or something while walking down Broadway.

Creepy!