Here’s a video that was recorded of me playing a song.

Come see it live Jan the 31st!

Google Video is awesome by the way. That video was 450 megs. Ha ha.

That’s a picture of the awesome pipe and dapper cap my sister got me for christmas. Pretty rad.

I also got a Wii for Xmas. If you haven’t heard of it yet, you will soon as the thing that destroyed half the big screens in the world.

The Wii is dangerous and Wii Bowling is the Devil. The Devil comes free with the Wii. If I had kids and a flat panel, I would be shitting my pants non-stop over the rest of the xmas break at the thought of them at home alone with a Wii. Monkey Darts that comes with Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, has you literally throwing the controller toward the television and then releasing the A button at the last second. Intuitive yes, dangerous: extremely. Those wrist straps are for pansies.

Anyway, my Wii code is 2302 3080 0510 5454. Add me and post your Wii code or email it to me!

Shoemoney tagged me with a blogger game called 5 things you didn’t know about me.

Here are my five things:

1. I have tried to start smoking several times, but I could never get over the nausea and coughing of smoking regularly. Better luck next time.

2. I’m a minister and I married two of my best friends to each other.

3. The 1980’s classic Short Circuit got me interested in science in the first place.

4. I love shopping.

5. I think chicks who play the violin are super hot.

Now I get to pick 5 people to do this same thing. I feel like some kind of magical masturbation fairy. Well here it goes:

Greg of Boser, Adam of Shandy, Ferozan of England, Bryan of Asian Guy, Jackie of Strauss

If you’ve got a lot of links out there pointing to a missing page on your Wordpress blog, why not 301 redirect them to your main page by downloading THIS FILE. That way you can funnel all the link juice at your main hog (industry terms).

Unzip it and upload the 404.php file into your template directory with all the other files (index.php, single.php, etc.php) Then give it a shot.

here’s a page that doesn’t exist.

Last week I was watching reruns of In Living Color on BET at like 1 in the morning when an infomercial about Magic Prosperity Handkerchiefs came on.

I don’t know if everyone knows what these are except me, but according to the Reverend Don Stewart, a magic prosperity handkerchief is a biblically sanctioned prosperity talisman that operators are standing by to send out at no charge. Naturally, I had to have one.

I got a tape recorder out and placed a call on the behalf of Ass Dickson who lives on 69 Dickville Street in Dickzakota, America. Unfortunately for my fun, there were no operators standing by, just an answering machine.

‘Well fuck it,’ I said.

Boy was I surprised when I got this in the mail:

Here’s the low down: You write on the green and shittily made prosperity handkerchief the amount of your largest bill or how much money you want for free, then you send the “church” back some seed money of your own, and then I guess just sit back and watch the Lincolns roll in.

Yea it’s stupid, der der. What I’m actually upset about is the hilarious and off-colour comments I left on their fucking answering machine that no one actually listened to! That sucks. They get the calls, they caller ID their ass, then they send out these shitkerchiefs en mass. If they’re smart (and they are because let’s face it, they are), nowhere along the line does anyone get to hear about how I want 230 dollars from my Green Prosperity Handkerchief and god so I can bathe in pudding and also that Don Stewart’s face stapling botch job looks like something a dumpling fucker might have done to himself.

What’s a dumpling fucker? No one asked because no one heard my message.

I’ll Flickr a picture of it later so everyone can see just how shitty and crappy it is. Or you can get a Green Prosperity Handkerchief of your own!

BTW, Dicktastics show tonight!!! With a special Christmas song!!