See if you can spot me in this Sugarplastic Music Video

I’ll give you a hint: it’s almost exactly 1 minute in.

SES San Jose 2007 was even more awesome than usual this year. To prove how awesome it was, I am going to divulge the criteria on which I grade all vacations and trade shows.

Pianos: 9/10

If making 80 bucks playing through my 2 hour repertoire at the Fairmont hotel wasn’t awesome enough, then how about playing the hidden piano at the Googleplex? Pretty awesome if you ask me. For those of you who don’t know, the Googleplex is the top secret office/headquarters of Google.com. If you think you can get in whenever you please, you’re in for a fucking surprise because that place is tighter than the firewall at an elementary school.

For a nefarious internet “spammer” to get in and beat that piano up for a minute or two is pretty awesome.

The piano portion of this trip would be a 10 out of 10, however, there is no video of me playing the piano inside the Googleplex; and also, for all the hotel managers in the world, when a guy walks up to you with a hot girl after the piano has been locked up and says, “She wants to hear me play the piano,” there is no amount of rules or regulations that justify you in saying, “no.” Be a fucking guy, you dicks. I don’t understand how these people sleep at night.

Mayhem 7/10

Drinking, fights, blood, sewing people onto bed spreads; these are the things of a great outing. Several instances come to mind. Some people were caught up in a hotel lobby water fight. Shoemoney had to get his knee sewn shut — but not with stitches, with manliness.

Buds 10/10

I don’t think I’ve met as many new SEO people since my first Webmaster World. The people in this industry are more fun than in any other — and better looking, with the exception of the porn industry. So meeting new ones is always awesome. My facebook notifier has been ticking like a stock machine since I got back.

Overall: 26

As you can see, a 26 is pretty fun. See you in Vegas!

I was making some popcorn in the office last night at about 2 in the morning. Somewhere between :30 seconds and six minutes later, I learned that a seventh season of Trailer Park Boys was made and was also made available on the internet in its entirety. In my excitement to track these episodes down, I forgot about my popcorn.

The sound of several smoke detectors alerted me to the burning microwave.

You can microwave fire, apparently, and it actually looks pretty cool as long as you can see through the wall of smoke in the room.

UPDATE

This is the second fire I’ve put out in this office.

Every social networking site needs to send you an email to activate your account.

Instead of setting up a shitload of throw-away yahoo or gmail accounts, try this.

Buy a domain name like jerkmail.com or something like that.

Sign up for an unlimited number of accounts on your favorite social networking site. and tell Firefox to remember all the users/passwords.

Remember, if it’s not illegal, who the fuck cares?

UPDATE

Woops! I fucked up the comments when I upgraded my theme. They work now. Also, here’s a tip from Eugeniu

or you can forward them all to an email address which you pipe to a
php script that will automatically confirm the email ,)

That is a great idea. But it’s not going to work for a model who’s just trying to vote on her own contest submission and doesn’t know what the fuck PHP is.

Make sure you come. We’re moving the piano and taking a recording hiatus after this show.

For The Album.

At the conclusion of Nathan’s 91st Annual Hot Dog Eating contest, which I was watching this evening on ESPN 2, I heard the following words:

“I think that America needed a hero. I think that America has a hero in Joey Chestnut.”

That was the announcer and Joey Chestnut was the runner up in 2006. The real victor was six-peat speed eater Takeru Kobayashi.

Either way, that is exactly what I wanted to hear 30 minutes into America Day July 4th. This is going to be the greatest America Day ever.