About a year ago, I started this site called AdoptABunny.org It’s about a guy who hates bunnies, especially baby bunnies, who inherits a bunny farm from his dead Aunt. In order to end his misery, he’s giving these bunnies away to anyone who wants one.
Go adopt a bunny if you want to see it.
It’s a virtual bunny of course, because no such person exists, but I guess I didn’t make that clear enough. In the few links to the site that are out there on the web, several people are shocked that anyone could hate baby bunnies. Some are even outraged.
That’s hilarious, but there’s more.
When I set up the site, I also set up an email address for the fictional owner Dill Pickles. I set it up for testing purposes and never checked it until last night. This was the first email:
Dill,Cancel the bunny order I was just thinking that If I filled out the app. that I could see how much the bunny cost!So… please cancle
Now that’s funny because the only thing I ask for is an email address. I guess I could just duct tape a bunny in a shoe box and chuck it into the post with my fingers crossed. Unlikely, but no more unlikely than encountering a person who hates bunnies more than anything else in the world.
hey my mom said i can get a bunny is it for free
Now I feel like a jerk.
can you give me your phone number so i can call you i need to know where you live so i can get the bunnie can you bring it over to me i live in jacksonville florida
Bigger jerk.
dose the rabbit have supplies with it?such as toys food and a cage.
And now I feel like the biggest jerk ever. These emails were sitting in Dill Pickles inbox for about 8 months now. That means my cute little joke is responsible for making little girls beg their mothers to let them adopt a bunny for free on the internet from some surly prick who hates them, and then got no reply. I’ve fought the Battle of the Pet. It is long and hard and won in tears. What’s waiting for you in the end shouldn’t be some jackass giggling about irony, it should be a bunny.
Eh, fuck it.
14 responses so far ↓
1 ferozan // Feb 9, 2007 at 4:21 pm
this really is the worst thing you’ve ever done! ever!
2 hammer // Feb 9, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I know dude. I really feel bad.
Maybe I should mail these girls some bunnies. In some impossible twist, I could see that backfiring.
3 Phantombookman // Feb 10, 2007 at 11:43 am
Apart from playing at the Viper Room this is your (known to me) finest hour.
Keep up the good work !
4 bcyde // Feb 11, 2007 at 12:26 am
Well at least you didn’t bully a coworker by taking his shoes and hiding them up on the roof of the building leaving him with the only option of asking the CEO of the company to have his shoes returned….
Oh wait you did.
5 Dave Pasternack (not) // Feb 12, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I found adoptabunny a while back - my friend’s daughter Catherine wanted a bunny but she can’t have one where she lives… so adopting an imaginary bunny was a good alternative. She really likes her e-bunny and adopting this bunny was a really good move under these circumstances. I think that bunny’s name is “Cat”, if you want to look him up in the bunny hall of fame or whatever it is. Like any smart kid, she knows that her internet bunny is not the same thing as a meatspace bunny.
I think adoptabunny is awesome for kids who for whatever reason can’t have their own bunny. The whole situation is downright heartwarming. Thanks Dax.
6 Giania // Feb 12, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Hmm… this reminds me of the outrage drummed by by Bonsai Kitten. It all started as an amusing photo gag site and ended up generating an unprecedented amount of PETA-like wrath. I distinctly recall having to convince one of my co-workers that it was indeed a joke, and these people were not really into intubating and disfiguring cats by way of various glass and plastic containers.
When you put Adopt a Bunny next to that, it seems downright lighthearted. You could always do courtesy lookups of local bunnyfarms and animal shelters that have bunnies for the especially sad cases. It’s all the syrupy goodness of confessional absolution but more productive!
7 Aaron Pratt // Feb 15, 2007 at 1:22 pm
You should be arrested for that evil act AND YES mailing bunnies to little girls while calling yourself Mr. Dill Pickles might not go over too well.
“Hi this is Dill Pickles and I play in a band called the Dicktastics, I got a cute little bunny for your daughter here”
Funny stuff man, keep it coming!
8 Jackie // Feb 20, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Ha ha- the Viper Room calender lists your band as “The Dickstatics.” They showed you!
Can’t wait to see your show!
9 hammer // Feb 20, 2007 at 4:33 pm
The Dickstatics?
That’s lewd.
10 rcjordan // Feb 24, 2007 at 10:53 am
Console yourself, Dax. Even if you’d made it 1000% clear, you’d have gotten those emails.
I have a site that is sort of a, and I HATE this term, ’social network’ for local and regional tourist sites to put up their attractions. Everything was built to be run in unattended mode, it just aggregates forms and batches them out. There is no contact email address in the usual sense, so they’ll click “Advertise with us” RIGHT BESIDE where it says in big red letters there is nobody home, please use the form (it’s a little more warm & fuzzy than that, but the message is the same). The area is very popular as a wedding venue. I still get helpme pleas for that …everything from music to surprise engagements to you-name-it. I feel bad when I hit the DELETE though I’m considering answering if I can work out a deal for the wedding night amateur videos.
11 Bulbboy // Feb 25, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Good job the bunnies don’t really exist. Can you imagine returning to them after 8 months unattended?
Option 1 (with food source): Millions of bunnies!
Option 2 (no food source): a pile of decomposing fluff & bones.
Re: the folks that emailed you: If they can’t tell the difference between virtual and real bunnies, they don’t deserve either!
12 Brian Laks // Mar 4, 2007 at 2:13 am
That’s a great domain “adoptabunny.org”, when did you register that? I’m surprised it wasn’t already taken. I wonder if there is a site out there where you can adopt different kinds of virtual animals and start your own online zoo. That’d be great, especially with some kind of paypal admission. Who needs meatspace and the wild animal park?
13 Esrun // Mar 4, 2007 at 12:25 pm
lol very odd!
14 Christianna // May 15, 2007 at 1:07 am
You are a jerk
if you need a bunny be a freaking sex machine
I have ten rabbits and know lots about em
So suck your ass
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