Google just released a bunch of software called the Google Pack. It’s supposed to make your computer better, but if you have computer problems and you ask me to come over and fix it, I will probably uninstall half of it.
If you really want some cool software, try out the HAMMER Super Pack below.
Microsoft AntiSpy - (now called Defender)
It’s likely that this is where your voyage into download fun and frivolity will end. You have shitloads of spyware. Just trust me and download the fucking program.
AVG AntiVirusUnlike other popular tools for detecting the motch on your botch (computer), AVG AntiVirus is completely free. That means that in 6 months, when your Brand X Pack Value Software Pack expires for lack of fifty dollars, you won’t call me. That’s win win. It’s the very first link on the page that link goes to. The very first fucking link that says AVG for Windows. Just click it and see what happens. If this and the AntiSpy above together don’t fix your computer, just throw it away.
This is probably the best one here. Fuck iTunes. Seriously? Fuck you guys.
You know how you can’t give your songs to anyone else when you buy and then download them from iTunes? Just run them through this little dealy right here called Hymn. It will decrypt the iTunes mp4’s so that you can give them to whoever you want. Use the command line version along with THIS HYMN WALKTHROUGH, or just download the java version. Smoke while you are doing so.
MSN Desktop SearchI used to think FireFox was the greatest thing that had ever been invented by human beings. Then I upgraded to 1.5 and it started crashing on me like 5 times a day. Hooray! Something that’s less stable than Windows 95! Fuck it. I’m moving back to IE and getting the MSN Deskbar and Toolbar that gives your IE tabs. Tabs mean you don’t have a fucking skyscraper of windows on your taskbar (that’s the bar on the bottom). The MSN Deskbar also allegedly lets you search for documents and things on your computer through one easy interface, but I could never get it to work.
But why would I need an Uploadr for something I don’t have? Exactly, dipshit! Go sign up for a Flickr account! Flickr is my favorite thing on the internet right at the moment. Look, you have a digital camera, or you have digital pictures, and they’re all over your desktop or drives that you don’t even know exist. With this little guy, you can upload them onto the internet where everything lasts forever. Won’t that be a great thing in twenty years for all you college chicks who love to pose like whores. Hope your kids don’t learn how to use the internet!
The HAMMER’s Wicked Awesome JPG Screen Saver
God I love this fucking screen saver. You can take pictures on your computer (any pictures…wink wink) and spin them around in a magical virtual three dimensional wonderland as though they were suspended in a soothing black void. Think of that prison for those three dicks from Krypton in Superman 2. How they just spin around through space. Well that’s what this screen saver does! Fancy Jesus it’s great!
Have you ever wanted to try something out before you bought it? Like Photoshop or the Spongebob movie or the full discography of Queen? Well now you can with the wonderous majesty of BitTorrent. Just download this dude; find a “torrent” for the softwares/movies/games/porns you want to download and then get crackalackin. It’s that easy! Remember to have the AVG Virus Scanner installed FIRST AND TO RUN IT ON YOUR DOWNLOADED SHIT! Here are some torrent searching sites for your enjoyment:
torrentreactor.com
thepiratebay.org
mininova.org
I especially recomment this software if you are a British type who wants to watch Scrubs. I don’t think they get that wherever British people live.
Google Earth is so rad. It’s an alien’s eye view of the whole planet. You can use it for directions and checking out your house and shit, sure, but it’s best use it looking at foreign countries and landmarks and then using that to impress women.
“I sure have been to Ibiza. Yes. There’s a canal that runs by a huge church that looks out on some kind of cemetary to the east. Yea, see. Fuck you.”
Or something like that. I don’t know. Download all that shit.
7 responses so far ↓
1 bcyde // Jan 9, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Don’t know why you need Hymn, if you’ve got BitTorrent. J/K I haven’t downloaded a torrent of anything that wasn’t a linux distro or a patch for World of Warcraft for about a year, but that Hymn program sounds pretty sweet if I used the iTunes music service.
2 hammer // Jan 9, 2006 at 2:32 pm
My sister and her friends have about a billion songs on that fucking mp4 format.
3 the rapist for 500 alex // Jan 9, 2006 at 4:53 pm
I don’t know what your problem is with Firefox 1.5. I got it and it’s freakin’ awesome, and also doesn’t suck balls like IE. There must be something wrong with your windows, like it’s XP or some bullshit like that.
4 bcyde // Jan 9, 2006 at 6:08 pm
So yeah, I actaully just upgraded to 1.5 at home. I heard some shit about its stability at other places as well, but when I upgraded to the web developer extension 1.0.7 locked up. Hopefully, I don’t experience those problems, otherwise I’ll have to go use Opera like some hippy.
5 hammer // Jan 9, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Let me tell you that you WILL experience those problems. It’s because Firefox dropped the ball. They dropped it into a bottomless pit.
Berger, don’t even front.
6 the rapist for 500 alex // Jan 10, 2006 at 8:56 am
well, some extensions don’t work with 1.5. maybe that’s your problem. all of my extensions work with up to 2.5, and also, I can bench 280 proof.
7 bcyde // Jan 11, 2006 at 6:15 pm
I can bench 700 proof.
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