Here’s a great feat of dicketry you might find yourself a victim of on eBay. I like to call it: the Feedback Fuckyou.

Check this auction out. It’s for a chanel purse. With Mother’s Day coming up, that’s something you might want to pick up. After all, it “includes The Authenticity Card”. But wait a minute, I’ve heard there are a lot of scams on eBay. How do I know this isn’t a scam?

Pretty easily I’d say. The seller, one watchndiamondinc, has a positive feedback of 10. Of course, I’d feel more comfortable with a positive feedback of say a billion, but what can you do. This must just be some college girl with an extremely strange eBay name unloading a birthday present that doesn’t match her wardrobe.

Hmmm.

Since this isn’t church, so let’s do a little investigative digging just for fun.

Feedback #1: eBook HOW TO DROPSHIP PROFITS — FREE SHIPPING!!! Price: $0.01
Feedback #2: Free Shipping of String Quartet Song: Doldrums MIDI Price: $0.01
Feedback #9: MAKE BIG MONEY SECRET .01 AUCTION FEE SHIPPING! Price: $0.01

Why would someone engage in “selling” a series of one cent items.

Why would anyone who purchased a one cent item leave positive feedback about their experience?

I’m not saying this guy is a scammer or a liar. That’s libel and you can get sued for it. I am only saying watchndiamondinc is a dick-brained cocksucker who wants your money.

The more you know.

Here’s a dandy of a tip for anyone who works in an office building where the outside parking is Ding Town, population: you! Or maybe there aren’t enough space so you have to park in an alley down the street. Maybe it’s raining. Fuck all of that.

Just walk around the building and find out which offices are available for rent or just had the tenents go out of business or something. Then go park in their spots in the underground parking.

Make sure you turn your wheels all the way to one side so you can’t get towed without getting your car all fucked up. Does that even work?

Object Serialization is the pretty much the most useful thing you will ever need when writing custom applications. Have you ever wondered why Photoshop loads 70 Meg files in the like the blink of an eye and your cheesey program that downloads girls’ pictures from HotorNot if they have more than a 9.5 runs slow as shit?

That’s because, like a shithead, you’re not serializing your data. Serializing stores the memory of your data to a file and then loads it back in straight from the disk in an automatated fashion. Here’s how.

1. First make a shitload of data.

2. Open a CFile and a CArchive.

3. Serialize the Data.

4. Close the File.

Here comes the code:

//open the file and archive
CFile theFile;
theFile.Open("C:\\savefile.txt", CFile::modeWrite | CFile::modeCreate);
CArchive archive(&theFile, CArchive::store); //this attaches the archive to the file.
//set the above to CArchive::load when you're loading all this shit back in.

//close all the files and things.
archive.Close();
theFile.Close();


Now I know what you’re thinking. “How the fuck did my dude get a serialize function?” Well the answer is that you put it there.

Class CHerpes{
int id;
CStringArray bunchabullshit;
int serialize(CArchive& archive)
{
if( archive.IsStoring() )
{
//this is how to serialize common datatypes
archive << id;
//this is how to serialize pain in the ass datatypes
bunchabullshit.Serialize(archive);
//stl has no damn serialize function
}
//when loading, just do the reverse arrows.
else
{
archive >> id;
bunchabullshit.Serialize(archive);
}
return 0; //who cares
};
}

Yea that’s all. That should make your datasets which are super huge load super fast.

On the birthday of Abraham Lincoln last weekend, I went to an Abraham Lincoln museum that I thought was a Sit and Sleep Matress Superstore — where I was going because I got really drunk the night before. You can probably figure out what had happened.

At the museum, I learned some fun and some not-so-fun facts about America’s 8th president that I wanted to share here:

1. Abraham Lincoln’s family nicknamed him Long Pants.

2. Abraham Lincoln invented the panty raid while attending Harvard.

3. Abraham Lincoln was allergic to club sandwiches.

4. Abraham Lincoln was only 6′2″. The average height of a man in the 19th century was 5′2″.

5. Abraham Lincoln’s favorite jelly bean was grape. JFK’s favorite medium for grape flavoring was jelly beans!

6. Abraham Lincoln invented that one really dirty joke about priests…you know the one I’m talking about.

7. Abraham Lincoln’s awsome top hat was large enough to hold two bags of grass, seventy five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers — also a quart of tequilla, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

8. Abraham Lincoln’s favorite play was one that he wrote himself entitled, “Fuck the South”.

Alright, I’m going to bed. Happy Valentine’s Day.

If you’ve slept like 9 hours in 3 days, you’re probably full of shit.

If you’re not full of shit, however, you’ll probably find that waking up is the hardest thing that you’ve ever had to do in your entire fucking life. Here’s a little tip for you…

When you’re in the shower, get some soap in your eyes!

It’s probably not safe to do long term or like every day, but why the hell would you do that? I little soap in your eye holes is just enough of a weird achey pain to keep you from falling asleep on your feet while you’re blinking and then pulling the cheap ass shower curtain bar off the wall and into the toilet.

I don’t understand how they can put those cheap ass shower rods in a house that’s supposed to cost like 450 thousand either. I don’t own it, I just rent it. It’s the principle.

Oh sweet Jesus this is a rad application.

Flickr doesn’t let you download all your pictures at once.  It seems like a great big fuck over for your 24.95 a year, but it’s not.  It’s like the latch on your car engine.  If you can’t figure out how to work the latch, you shouldn’t be mucking around in the engine.  Maybe it’s more like a bra clasp.

If you want to get at all your imagery, go HERE.  And get the FlickrDown Flickr downloader.

It will let you batch download all the Flickr images you want.  You can download other people’s entire Flickr sets without giving yourself trigger finger or carpal balls.  You might have to get Microsoft .Net 2.0, but the link is on the FlickrDown page.  So get crackin.