I was making some popcorn in the office last night at about 2 in the morning. Somewhere between :30 seconds and six minutes later, I learned that a seventh season of Trailer Park Boys was made and was also made available on the internet in its entirety. In my excitement to track these episodes down, I forgot about my popcorn.

The sound of several smoke detectors alerted me to the burning microwave.

You can microwave fire, apparently, and it actually looks pretty cool as long as you can see through the wall of smoke in the room.

UPDATE

This is the second fire I’ve put out in this office.

ShoeShoe the Guru tagged me with this blog Meme.

What magazines do I read.

I read the MAKEzine online magazine about making things. Here’s an article in MAKEzine about how you can make a Darth Vader shaped hot air balloon in your own garage; since you’re not using your garage to have sex in because you’re a NERD.

I also have read the January 2004 issue of Guns & Ammo since January 2004. I got my roommate a subscription for Christmas the year before and he left that one in the communal bathroom. I guess that was supposed to be my present. I had almost finished it before I moved out of that house last month.

I used to read Nintendo Power. That was a pretty awesome magazine and it was cheaper than games.

Maybe I need to start reading some more magazines. Are there any magazines about being super classy and to be classier? Like Martini Magazine?

Any investors interested in funding that?

Shoemoney tagged me with a blogger game called 5 things you didn’t know about me.

Here are my five things:

1. I have tried to start smoking several times, but I could never get over the nausea and coughing of smoking regularly. Better luck next time.

2. I’m a minister and I married two of my best friends to each other.

3. The 1980’s classic Short Circuit got me interested in science in the first place.

4. I love shopping.

5. I think chicks who play the violin are super hot.

Now I get to pick 5 people to do this same thing. I feel like some kind of magical masturbation fairy. Well here it goes:

Greg of Boser, Adam of Shandy, Ferozan of England, Bryan of Asian Guy, Jackie of Strauss

Windows Auto restart feature is completely fucked.

If you’ve ever come to work only to find that your computer is sitting at the login screen and your unsaved, open spreadsheets and text files are completely gone forever, it’s because Windows automatically restarts your machine when it updates. You may have seen this in the form of a little countdown box that pops up every thirty seconds and says:

Windows has finished updating. Windows will restart and lose all of your unsaved shit if you do not click the Don't Restart button in the next twenty seconds.

I think this feature outranks the Microsoft Breifcase in terms of function and annoyance, so here’s how to turn it off:

Go click Start, then go to Run
Type gpedit.msc
Click on Computer Configuration in the Local Computer Policy Tree on the left.
Click on…
Administrative Templates
Windows Components
Windows Update
and finally: Re-prompt for restart with scheduled installations

It should say Not Configured. Give it a bunch of minutes. 604 is a good amount of minutes. You can’t disable it because then it’ll just assume you meant to type 10 minutes when you actually meant NEVER EVER DO THIS.

Then hit OK and immediately close the Group Policy box you opened. Unless you don’t know what you’re doing mucking about in the Windows config files. Then you should just fuck with everything.

Btw, I got this tip from Daniel Turini at Code Project, which is the awesomest source on the web for C++ code.

Pee Wee’s Playhouse has been running for the last few weeks on AdultSwim — which has been awesome! AdultSwim is Cartoon Network’s post 10PM block of programming that plays cartoons made for adults. It’s all the same crappy animation you remember from your Hanna Barbara days (but with more swearing) and has already birthed such immortal characters as the pixelated ne’er do well Ignignokt and the grumpy bassist William Murderface.

On adultswim.com, they’re running an interesting series of interviews with Pee Wee’s Playhouse creator Paul Reubens. In the second clip, Pee Wee drops quite a bombshell.

According to Pee Wee, the set security guard for the Playhouse was always hounding him to read a breakout script he had written. Of course Pee Wee always had other things to do. Well a certain Cowboy Curtis (played by Lawrence Fishburne) did not have better things to do. The security guard was John Singleton. The script was Boyz in da Hood.

What I’m saying is the world came within one tick of the doomsday clock to having Boyz in da Hood produced by fucking Pee Wee Herman! That is awesome.

On another note, does anyone remember where they were when Paul Reubens got busted watching pornography? (Obviously he was masturbating. What do you do while you’re watching porn? Bake brownies?) Well I do. I was 10 at the time. I remember exactly what I thought.

Fuck. Now these idiots are going to cancel Pee Wee’s Playhouse forever.

And they sure did.  (or did they!)

First of all, I hate Heineken. It tastes like skunk piss (credit to Chris Northway on that one) and it has always done so. I remember when they were making Heineken cool. Well it worked and now the shit is everywhere.

I also hate kegs — on account of I am too grown up for kegs.

Here are some reasons (for us grownups) why kegs are crappier than regular beers:

1. Kegs are sloppy and foam all of your shit — including your shoes. That means less beer. You would think you could counter act that by filing up a pitcher or a water bottle for yourself, but all of the sudden you’re the asshole.
2. Kegs are not that much cheaper than beer in it’s natural form (cans and bottles).
3. You can’t bring more than six beers back (MAX) from a keg. I’m talking about using your thumbs in the glass here too. The Claw. When you’re getting beer cans and beer bottles, you can bring back like twenty — use your pockets, tie your shoe laces around the bottoms of your pants and fill em up. Think outside the box.
4. Keg stands are extremely dangerous. I know someone who did a keg stand one time and he fell halfway out of his pants because the jackasses holding him didn’t want to put their fucking beers down for two minutes. Beer bongs are way safe.