Click on the monkey over there on the right to get a special monkey mail message about my book!

For those of you who don’t know, check out FollowTheWeird.com to read about it and the latest reviews.

Also, that monkey thing is super awesome.

Everyone who hasn’t imagined themself as the heroic Arthur from The Tick pictured over there at least once a week raise your hand.

You people are liars.

For the rest of you, now’s your chance! Head on over to THIS SITE HERE to find information and kit ordering instructions on how to build your own airplane. Seriously.

Here’s an excerpt from their FAQ:

Q: How much does it cost to build?

A: The prototype cost less than $3,000 not including the motor.

That sounds good so far. I’m the kind of guy who likes my piano to cost more than my car and my airplane combined.

Q: What kind of tools are required to build the Afordaplane?

Who cares? With a name like Afordaplane, I’m already sold.

Q: What skills are required to build Afordaplane?

A: Careful attention to details…

Shit. If anyone has or has access to a “Careful attention to details” (whatever that is), commutes along my route to work from the biggest mountain in Santa Clarita to right next to the mall, and is interested in sharing a plane built out of an industrial strength erector set, shoot me an email.

Jesus Christ Wordpress’ WYSIWYG editor is fucked up.

Go check out this video of Ashley Herrera hitting the shit out of the softball.

CLICK HERE!

Then check out my photos section for pictures of Ashley Herrera hitting the shit out of the bottle on her 21st birthday last weekend.

Then check out my SECRET BLOG to read about the time I peed in someone’s pants last weekend — my pants!

That’s great fun for everyone!

There’s this guy Brandon Bird, who’s pretty much the greatest artist in history.

Some of his works include:
Lazy Sunday Afternoon - in which Christopher Walken builds robots in his garage.
The Dreamer and His Dream - in which L Ron Hubbard sits on a couch eating Funyuns.
Bad Day on the High Sea - in which a Tyranosaurus and a giant squid attack a sperm whale.

Above you can see his latest contibution to mankind. That would be the Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Valentine’s Day cards.

Brandon Bird is so poigniantly and consistently funny that merely gazing upon his oeuvre breaks my “Funny Circuit” or perhaps causes a critical mass between my Mischeif Glands and my Iconoclastometer.

I am in awe. Go buy his shit.

PS - it’s too bad Will and Grace ruined the word irreverent. That show sucks.

Fucking Rad Real estate site!

Want to see how much your neighbor’s house is worth? Want to see how much it would cost to live a mile away from Disneyland? The Stratosphere?

Check out this site.

It gives you a satellite view of America where you can see the price for every house out there.

Check out this cool program I found while I was doing some work research.

You punch your name into it, and it gives you a graph over the last 100 years of how popular your name was at any given time. 

http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/ 

Here are some of my sleuthy results: 

Dax - 1970 0.0027% of babies
Ashley - 1985 1% of babies
Adolf - 1910 0.0023% of babies
Dickface - 2005 0.0% of babies

Interesting.