Once again it is time to get ready to get FUCKED UP at my house for my 2nd annual Halloween/Birthday RAD PARTY!

The WHEN: SATURDAY OCTOBER 28th Circa 6PM in the evening time
The WHERE: MY HOUSE
The WHY: for a rad time and to celebrate my birthday and the birthday of Halloween, the awesomest of all holidays. Halloween will be turning a billion years old this year, so you better be there to party your ass off.
The WHAT: SUPER SPY SUPER SPY SUPER SPY. Come as your favorite Super Spy or Super Villain. PS - Harry Potter is NOT a super spy!
The HOW: Down and Dirty. That’s how.

Bring your ass! Bring your babes! Bring your ass kicking insurance if you plan on showing up without a costume!

Shaken martinis and Golden Eye provided!

PS. The Bush picture is a joke so keep it in your pants poly sci NERDS!

Here are my results from the Shoemoney Guess the Spams Contest:

Total number of comments: 215

Number of comments without guesses: 15

That includes trackbacks and comments and comments about how spamming shoe’s comments up to like a billion would be a good strategy.

Number of Invalid guesses made after the deadline of midnight on the evening of the 8th: 10

That’s a grand sub-total of 190 actual guesses. I’m going to go ahead and take one more off for the poor fellow who guessed less than the number of spams shoe had to start. Technically, that’s an invalid guess.

That means Shoe had 189 guesses. That makes the Dax’s Guess the Number of Guesses in Shoemoney’s Contest Contest winner:

Edd with a guess of 185!

Congratulations Edd. Send me your address so I can mail you the treasure/donkey key! And to everyone else, thanks for playing.

I haven’t been posting for a while because I completely fucked up my right hand being a drunk jackass.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t type, play piano, and brush my teeth with my right hand, but I do.  Damn.

I’m in Italy right now, so feel free to go fuck with my stuff while I’m gone.

I’m going to the Vatican tomorrow.  I spent all day looking for a Pope Hat.

The Captain is in a box on his way to England right now.  I’ll be posting pictures of the piece of art I turned that into later in the week.

Arrivadice!

It’s the last 24 hours of my moustache auction and that means it’s nearing the end of days for The Captain and me. We had a good ride (uhoh!) and I did a lot of moustache related activities I’m proud of.

One thing I noticed unmentioned in the auction is that a moustache takes all your Samba-ing to the next level.

I celebrated yesterday by looking super awesome in some pretty sweet rides that were not mine. That’s how they should send prisoner’s out instead of giving them last meals. Just buckle them into a brand new convertible and spin them around the mall at like a million.

Click here to check out some people interested in purchasing my moustache.

Much like those people did, you’ll find my Moustachification process has totally blown your mind. Thanks to the following brave volunteers:

Kris from Tickco.com
Marcus from www.mediadonis.net
Ben from The Sugarplastic
Phantombookman from Goldeneyebooks.com
David from Hawaiian Airlines
Mikkel from Europe
Jason from Canadian SEO
Barry the Live Blogger
Will from CSC

After spending the last half week in seclusion considering the cancellation of my first Moustache auction, I reached the following conclusion:

It must not have been AWESOME enough.

The Captain is BACK ON SALE.   This time, however, I am offering a very special Try Before You Buy Service.  As I explain in the auction, satisfaction is #1 when it comes to enjoying facial hair — especially other people’s!  That means it’s important to know The Captain is right for you.

I know it.  The Captain knows it, but just so you’re confident in your bid, I will virtually moustache-sticate any interested parties.  Simply email me your picture.  I will download it onto my computer machine and run it through an intensive Latinification process that will give you the best possible approximation of yourself enjoying The Captain.

Make sure you’re smiling in your picture, because you will be smiling in your sleep with your very own in your face moustache!

The Captain is retiring!

Hello friends. Have you ever wanted to own a super awesome moustache? Have you ever wanted to own my super awesome moustache?

Well today is your chance.

I am selling my moustache on eBay. Go read all about it at BuyMyMoustache.com