You know, there’s something I’ve always regretted about college that I’ve never told anyone.

I never sewed anyone’s pants to my couch when they passed out on it.  It’s something I always wanted to do, but I never did it.  Can you imagine how hilarious that would be to wake up and find that your clothing — with you in it — was sewn to a piece of furniture?

What would you do?  Can you even take pants off if they’re sewn to a couch?  What if your pants were sewn to someone else’s pants as well?  I think that would be even funnier, but that’s not being realistic.

That’s what life is about.  Being realistic.  Something with regret too, I forgot what I was talking about.

If someone’s nice enough to give you weed, a pipe, and a place to smoke it in an extremely crowded area; try not to lock their fucking keys in their car on your way out.

Jesus Christ.

I haven’t felt this bad since I passed out in front of my boss’ kids…in his backyard…at 5:30.

I’m going to Disneyland soon and for years the secret to experience as much magic at Disneyland as you can cram down your pie hole has been to show up in a leg brace and crutches.  Or better yet, bite the bullet and rent a wheelchair.

"I have a bad back.  I was run over by a rhino-saurus on safari."

BAM!  It’s expensive, but you’ve just rented yourself a front of the line pass for the rest of the day.  I did it, my sister before me did it, and I did it before her.  That’s how I rode Space Mountain 17 times in a row one time.

Well it turns out that Disneyland hates handicapped people now and has ended the front of the line pass due to flagrant abuse.  You know it’s system abusers like that that make me sick.  I’m talking about the ones that get caught and fuck it up for the rest of us.

It’s you stupid fuck teenagers with your bikinis and your oxycontin who giggle like fancy ball dipshits when you pull one over on the system.  Well congratulations cocksuckers, you just cost me a shitload of fun.

Shit. Our water got turned off. Being the bill payer, I can’t help but feel like this is somehow my fault. I’m sure that feeling will pass.

Welcome to No Shower Town. Population: ME.

Ofoto.com recently fucked me in a number of ways. Ofoto.com developes your film for you if you mail it in. But…

1. They don’t give you the high resolution versions of your pictures. So you’re stuck with cell phone quality fucking shots.
2. If you pay the extra $25 a year to get the high res shots, you can’t download them all at the same time. Those pricks expect you to get them one by one. Here’s their customer support email on the matter:

Me [verbatim]:

Where can I download a batch of my high res pictures? I’d rather not go through them one by one.

Customer Service [paraphrased]:

You can download your photos by going through your albums and then individual pictures one by one and clicking “Download the full version”.

Do you have any more questions?

My response [verbatim]:

Are you fucking joking? Of course I have more questions, your answer was completely opposite to what I asked.

Here’s me: Is there a way I can download my high res pictures by the batch instead of doing it one by one. I don’t want to do it one by one because there’s a lot.

Here’s you: Download them one by one.

Thanks a lot. I’ll take that as a ‘No’, in which case EasyShare is a misnomer.

dax

In other words, consider your site scraped you cock bags. Here’s a link to the pictures I just downloaded myself with this Offline Explorer Pro.