I got back from Italy on Monday night and my luggage, cuban cigars, absinthe, and retainers (nerd!) got back last night at around 1 AM.

Giggidy giggidy.

Here are my comments on Italy:

First of all, one out of every two women you see on the street in Rome is fucking gorgeous.  It’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen in your life.  If you’re going, make sure to bring plenty of Italy soccer jerseys and probably an Italy hat.  They love that shit.
Two.  Italians do not get drunk.  This was fucked for me.  Outside of America, you can drink just while you’re walking around the street.  That means it’s pretty much compulsory to do so.  It’s a big fuck you though because if you do get drunk, you’re the only one doing it.

Three.  Did you know Venice was built to be a maze on purpose?  The Venetian Empire did so to fuck invaders and such.  This is important to know when you wake up on a boat by yourself at 3AM and the last thing you remember is everything being sideways.

If you’re not sure you should be on a boat, then you should get off the boat.  That’s always worked well for me.