Well my super awesome, super bad moustache auction was just canceled by eBay.

Here’s the message they sent me:

Your listing was in violation of eBay’s Inappropriate Links policy and has
been removed from eBay.

We would like to take this opportunity to let you know what part of your listing is not permitted.

Your listing(s) contains the following information:

IN DESCRIPTION: Check out my homepage at www.biggnuts.com

Awesome. That’s not what it said though. It was “Check out my homepage at www.biggnuts.com to get a better idea of where this moustache has been.”

In one way, it’s completely my fault. I think most of us here know a little something about TOSes and the violating of them. It’s always your fault. No matter what. I apologize to everyone involved. Namely these two super awesome dudes:

That would be ShoeMoney and Webmasterradio’s own SEGuru who knocked the bidding up to $355 (Holy Shit!) before it was pulled. It’s one thing to have a whopping two of your forty MySpace friends repost your bulletin when asked (what a special fucking feeling that is), but it’s a totally different feeling when some big wigs like these hombres start tossing link love your way. You guys are super awesome and thanks! MSN cached the auction page, so I’ll post it at buymymoustache.com when I can get my hands on some better web editing software.

In a completely other way: Seriously, what the fuck!

I guess instead of “Check out my homepage biggnuts.com to get a better idea of where this moustache has been.” I should have said, “Special thanks to myself and the rest of the automated auction services staff at biggnuts.com for hosting some of these fucking images, editing said images, and writing this auction content — also for all the payment processing, fucking trick razor blade shaving, and shipping services! Because all that stuff is way harder and way more fucking expensive than hosting one stupid counter and those counter people get their links shot out of a goddamn cannon. Oh wow. That’s actually a good point. Or it would be if eBay didn’t have a way to edit your item additions even though no one’s bid on the item since you added them. And they don’t. But the real question is, would any of that have tricked the single actual person who looked at an auction on a Moustache for Sale and thought to themselves, yep a link to this guy’s homepage is completely against the spirit of our policies and has absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH PURCHASING HIS FUCKING SUPER RAD MOUSTACHE…DELETED!.”

This is almost as stupid as when FOX bleeped Cleveland saying “erection” on Family Guy about two seconds ago while I was writing this. And that’s almost as stupid as when Cartoon Network bleeps The Professor saying “sweet zombie Jesus” on the episode of Futurama where Fry falls in love with a mermaid but doesn’t stay with her for her lack of human sexual organs.

“What’s a target?” - Jack in the Box commercial

But all that’s in a completely other way. Also UCLA got beat in the World Series today. Fuck. This sucks. I’m an idiot.

Now…to think of something awesomer.